Causes of Divorce
Causes of divorce can be quite complex and complicated. There is usually not one simple factor that causes the dissolution of a marriage. Due to the fact that many states no longer require a statement of fault or specific reason for divorce, there are no specific statistics that expressly detail the most common causes of divorce. Causes of divorce often involve a combination of factors that lead to the breakdown of a marriage. In the United States nearly ninety percent of the population will get married at some time in their lives. Approximately 40 to 50 percent of first time marriages will result in divorce within fifteen years. A number of factors may influence the likelihood of marital dissolution including the quality and length of the premarital relationship, cohabitation, each party”s family of origin, the length of the marriage, and several other factors.
In most general terms, the causes of divorce (and arguably the cause of any relationship dissolution) involve a breakdown or lack of communication, compromise, and/or commitment. Family legal experts cite the following factors as major causes of divorce: poor communication, financial problems, lack of commitment, dramatic changes in priorities, and infidelity. Causes of divorce may also include physical, mental or emotional abuse, substance abuse, lack of conflict resolution skills, unmet needs, failed expectations, and significant discrepancies in parenting.
Causes of divorce may also be predicated on several pre-marital factors. Families of origin often have a large influence over marriage and divorce. People whose parents are divorced are twice as likely to have their own marriage end in divorce. People with divorced parents may be more likely to see divorce as a solution to problems in a marriage or may have a lower threshold for marital conflict. The quality of premarital plutonic relationships with the opposite sex may also give some indication as to the quality of relationships and the ensuing causes of divorce.
Cohabitation is also another factor in the causes of divorce. Studies show that people who live together before they get married are more likely to get divorced. Reasons cited for this phenomenon vary depending on one”s perspective. People who cohabit first do not often take living together as seriously as marriage. Pressure to get married and the increased likelihood of having children while cohabiting can contribute to the causes of divorce in the future.
There are several other factors that are cited as causes of divorce. Generally causes of divorce depend on premarital factors, specific relationship dynamics, personality attributes, and problem behaviors. Anyone who is considering a divorce must discover the causes of divorce for their own marriage, irrespective of what external statistics reveal.
Causes of divorce are those factors that impel an individual or couple to decide to permanently dissolve a marital union. In most cases, the causes of divorce are complex and are specific to a couple’s relationship, their troubles, and their own life experiences. In 2002 the most oft-sited causes of divorce were listed on divorce papers as “irreconcilable differences,” “irretrievable breakdown,” or “incompatibility”~ all of which are considered “no-fault” reasons for divorce recognized in many states.
When divorce is granted on specific legal grounds, there are a number of causes of divorce which are legally recognized in different states. The causes of divorce that are considered viable grounds for the dissolution of marriage in some states may include: cruelty, abandonment, adultery, , incurable insanity, drug or alcohol addiction, felony conviction or incarceration, an established period of separation, and similar causes of divorce.
Because the majority of divorces are granted on a no-fault basis, it is difficult to easily evaluate the major causes of divorce. The causes of divorce are often complex, as several factors can lead a person or couple to be dissatisfied with a marriage. Commonly cited causes for divorce can include any combination of the following factors: quality of premarital relationship, partner’s relationship styles, poor communication, lack of commitment, infidelity, problem behaviors, financial problems, differences in parenting styles, changes in life priorities, and abusive or neglectful behaviors.
There are a number of specific factors which can influence the causes of divorce in a couple’s relationship. The quality of a couple’s premarital relationship can be a good indicator of later causes of divorce. Many problems that develop before marriage don’t disappear and often lead to the causes of divorce down the road. Statistics also show that couples who cohabitate before marriage also have a higher chance of divorce. The causes of divorce in these cases may involve a couple’s more relaxed approach to marriage after cohabitation or pressure to marry after cohabitation.
A spouse’s family of origin can also factor into the causes of divorce. People whose parents are divorced are twice as likely to divorce their own spouses as those whose parents are still together. Experts postulate that this can lead to the causes of divorce because these individuals have seen an example of marriage which ultimately ended in divorce.
Avoiding the Leading Causes of Divorce
Here, then are a few causes of divorce. Each cause of divorce has to do with a certain unwillingness which, if turned into a willingness, can become a strength of your relationship. Avoiding causes of divorce is all about effort — it’s about being willing to develop relationship skills, and then to work hard to implement them.
The Five (Unwilling) Causes of Divorce:
1. An unwillingness to communicate lovingly
Cause of Divorce #1 has to do with the ways you talk and listen to each other. Loving communication means that you are willing to share and talk about your lives together. Then, it means that you do so with respect and kindness. This doesn’t mean that you won’t get angry or argue, but that you make an effort to talk and listen in ways that highlight the fact that you love your partner and want what’s best for them. That kind of attitude can help you avoid many a cause of divorce.
2. An unwillingness to commit
The second cause of divorce relates to how fully you’re willing to stand by your vows to love, honor, and respect each other. This can apply to common causes of divorce like infidelity and abuse, but it’s also about the basic ways you treat each other.
3. An unwillingness to compromise
An overarching cause of divorce is one or both spouses’ unwillingness to compromise. Flexibility is key in any relationship, especially when you’re dealing with contentious issues like finances, childrearing, career decisions, etc.
4. An unwillingness to put down weapons
One thing that can cause divorce is a constant battle in which partners consistently wound each other. Pledge that you’ll side-step this cause of divorce by trying never to hurt, and only to heal each other.
Just as these causes of divorce all begin with a fundamental unwillingness, marital growth begins with your being willing to develop and strengthen your relationship skills like communication, commitment, compromise, and kindness. Pay attention to your willingness to love your partner in all these ways, and see where it takes your marriage.