Divorce Rates are Rising

Divorce Rates are Rising – More Children are Suffering

In our modern society, divorce rates are rising. This could be due to the rising mobility of women, the growing equalization of women’s status and the removal of the social stigma of divorce in society. Let us look back at reasons why couples do not divorce in the past. Firstly, women used to be the housewives with no independent income of their own. They are dependent on their husbands for their income. Hence the possibility of them leaving their husband is greatly reduced. The social status of women used to be so low that they are not considered of much use other than as a baby making machine and house maid. With the ability to earn their own income, there is growing equalization of women’s social status. They now have the ability to vote and are starting to be viewed as equal to men. Next the social stigma of divorcing is so great that divorced women have virtually no chance of getting into another marriage once she has divorced.

This stigma is being eroded by popular culture. With these factors in mind, we can work to reduce the divorce rate by reverting back to our previous some would call primitive state of society. We can start by handicapping women’s ability to earn income by making sure their general incomes are much lower than men. Whatever the income a woman earns, she must be taxed say 50% for the work when compared to the income of a man doing comparable work. Better still, make sure they are unable to earn meaningful income on their own. Hence they will remain wholly dependent on men for income and can be placed on an invisible leash. Next we have to work to reduce their social status to that of an inferior being to men. This is to diminish their self confidence and the success in fighting for jobs with men.

The popular culture must also be corrected. Any media or idol which glorified divorce should be banned or discouraged. Celebrities who are getting married must post certain percentage of their net worth with the state which will be forfeited in the situation that they divorced so as to discourage reckless marriage. This is important as correct role models need to be shown on the popular media. Medias must also re-enforce the notion of a marriage of men and women with women’s proper place being in the kitchen and the bedroom. Whenever divorces occur, the children are often the helpless victims of the adult’s irresponsibility. If they are wanted by either parent, there will be an ugly fight to gain custody. If they are not wanted by any one parent, they are left to fend for themselves and usually end up as a burden to society. Worse still, these affected children tend to end up divorced as their parents having not experienced any semblance of a functional family life. This will perpetuate a vicious cycle which is difficult to break.

If the above mentioned measures cannot be implemented successfully to reduce divorce rate, then something must be done to reduce the burden on children from divorced marriage. This can be done by making people devote a portion of their income into a common marriage fund. This fund will be used to ensured children of divorced parents be placed under state care and end up as useful members of society. Those who divorced once and married again will be taxed twice the amount and chronic divorcee will be taxed as per the number of time they get married. This is to reduce the number of marriage by people who are incompetent in staying marriage and creating needless suffering on any children from the marriage. This will also encourage couple to carefully consider their reason for marriage.

Couples are getting a divorce more than ever. I think this is to blame because people do not try as hard as they used to. It is more acceptable today to just get a divorce, or cheat on a spouse instead of working on your marriage. I think the biggest reason for divorce is because people drift apart, and don’t really try afterwards, it is important to spend quality time together to prevent that form happening in the first place. In the beginning, all relationships are intoxicatingly great. Too bad this can not last forever. Once reality sets in, and a couple becomes used to each other, and sees each others flaws, and starts living together, things get more about responsibility, and less about romance and fun. If they have kids, it is even harder to maintain that feeling that you had in the beginning. Your relationship has turned into mature love rather than infatuation… oh no, it isn’t as fun anymore? This is all in the way you look at it, and if you are a mature individual.

This should be what a mature individual wants. To have a family, to have a solid unit, to work towards their goals together. Families should be happy together, share their days, do things together. Sometimes, it doesn’t happen that way. I am going to be biased, because I am a female, and talk about men. Some men want excitement again, they only talk to their wife about things that need to be done, and what is wrong with their situation instead of seeing how blessed they are. There is a lot of stress in relationships sometimes. This is especially true if money is an issue. Some men do not see their wife as fun and exciting anymore, because they know all about her, there is no more mystery, no more chase, she is already a given. And some men want that chase again, they want the excitement of it. So they go out and try to get their mind off of things at home, and find it in another woman. Maybe they don’t cheat, but just flirting may be enough for them. They still love their wife. But she is no longer the object of his affection. I think this can happen because he does not know about this other woman, she is mysterious to him. It is exciting to him, to get to know her, and it takes his mind off his problems. And all of the things that have become routine, and mundane to him Meanwhile, the wife is getting less and less attention, and taking on more and more work. She may be doing a lot more than him. She will probably start to resent him, and feel he is not pulling his weight. He also is going out a lot and not treating her like she is special anymore.

This makes her stressed out and very resentful of him. She may feel like he just does not care anymore, and stop believing in the whole relationship. At this rate, something is bound to happen. And give it a little time, but more than likely it will be divorce over reconciliation. The man may feel guilty, it may or may not stop him. Counseling is usually a good idea to try and save a marriage. Or maybe even talking each day. Or doing things together like going for a walk, or taking a class together, or working out together. It is important to become close to one another once again. If the emotional distance remains, it is likely one of them will file for divorce. This could likely be the husband or the wife. The husband isn’t trying, and it wouldn’t matter if the wife did. She is frustrated, and probably is very unhappy with her marriage. She may think it is best to divorce and raise the kids alone, or get a custody agreement, at least she wouldn’t always have to have this on her mind.

Once the divorce topic comes up, it may wake the husband up and perhaps he will want to start trying in order to save his marriage. This may or may not happen, and even if it does, the wife may not forgive him. or she may not want to take a chance of going through this again. I think this is incredibly sad, because this can really happen to anyone, and it is horrible for a family to go through. I think couples should spend time together everyday and value each other and stay close. With all the responsibilities in life it is easy to become distant, it is easy to drift apart. The best thing to do in a marriage is to make sure you spend time together, and treasure and respect each other, so you will have the best chances of staying together. It is especially important if you have children, because they need their mother and father.

Everyone knows that a man and a woman are very different from each other. They think differently, have different feelings and make different decisions. And in the issue of family relations, they have different priorities. Misunderstanding these differences and selfishness leads to family conflicts, quarrels and even divorce.

Often we can see in today’s families a situation where the husband could not love his wife and the wife can not respect her husband. They are trying to force each other to love and respect, resorting to different trick pressure recrimination and even witchcraft. In most cases all this does not solve, but only aggravates the situation. It erodes their relationship as sulfuric acid, and very soon they have to give up.

How do we avoid this? How to keep the love and respect for the family? First of all, husbands need to understand what their wives really want and expect. The man usually thinks, “Why is she complaining? What else does she need? I earn money, spend the weekend at home, help her around the house, but she is still not happy!” He does not understand or realize that for most women all of these things are not priorities. In many cases a man misses the most important and significant factor for a woman – “Love”. Love that is romantic, tender and caring.

Real actions and sweet words, care and tenderness will bring your wife into raptures, give her a sense of joy, happiness and security. That is what a woman is looking for, first of all! These are priorities she is looking for in the relationship.

Secondly, women should understand that what their husbands are looking for id quite different. For a man the most important is the love of his wife, expressed in respect, care and support. No one is better able to influence a man than his wife. She can make him successful, happy and confident in himself. At the same time, it is the wife that can make her husband unhappy by not treating him with respect and the love he wishes for.

When husbands and wives do not understand how to treat each other is a right way, keeping a healthy relationship will be becoming harder and harder. They become constantly strained and disappointed. Now the quarrels and conflicts in the family cannot be avoided.

However, if we understand what our spouse really needs, why don’t we do it? We know what needs to be done however are not willing to actually apply this knowledge into practice. In many cases when we go to bed at night we make a decision to do it right in the morning, but in the morning do it in an opposite way. Is not there you have that, that evening, you decide to do «right», but the morning catch yourself on what is done the opposite? What you want is not the case, and what does not want to – do. Familiar with the situation?

It appears that the divorce rate today is higher than it has ever been before. Many young couples even believe that it is okay to have what is called a started marriage. It has become more and more acceptable to divorce your spouse when things get hard instead of doing what you can to work on your marriage. Many young couples think nothing of getting married and divorced many times, as most of them grew up in a divorced family. The fall of the American family and increase in divorce can be attributed to many things. One of the leading factors is that young people are getting married and playing house at very young ages. They in fact think that because their parents, or
grandparents married at 17, 18 or 19 that they should be fine. Statistics however show otherwise. The younger you get married the more likely you are to divorce. People are not taking the time to experience life before they settle down and tie the note, they are rushing into marriage without considering what it truly means to be married. Vows today are simply words that you recite at a wedding ceremony and marriages are more about the wedding than what happens after the wedding.

Divorce can be very difficult on the entire family, especially if there are children involved. If you in fact can not resolve your differences and you have children then you will have to come to an agreement to be there for those children regardless of your differences. As hard as it may seem you will need to put your pain, hurt and dislike for the other person behind you and be an adult. You will need to have events for your child where your ex spouse is involved. Have one birthday party, consider having a Christmas Eve Celebration where the whole family, ex spouse and all are there so the children can still have happy memories of their child hood. Just because you divorced your spouse does not mean you are not still connected to them for the rest of your life, that is if you have children. Do not make your children suffer because you could not work out your marriage. It is not fair to them. Divorce can be a very trying time in someone’s life, the most important thing to remember is this too shall pass. When it does pass you will want to ensure that your family, children and all live in a happy productive environment.

First let me say that people these days are getting married way to quickly after meeting each other. For me it was over 2 years before me and my wife were married. I see people getting married after just 2 damn weeks, and guess what my mother got remarried just 3 months after meeting a guy that she went to high school with. She is still married to him but she now knows he is a chain smoker and an alcoholic. I think people need to be together for at least a year or 2 and know each other inside and out and to be able to put up with anything the other person may annoy you with. You have to have good communication with
each other. With no communication you are set up for failure. You must actually love each other and not do it just because you are getting old and want kids.

These days there are too many couples that think all troubles are now behind them once they are married. A piece of paper called “marriage certificate” making a union legal doesn’t work magic. In fact, there are a lot of people I personally know that encountered more problems after they are married than before the marriage! Don’t try to convince yourself that marriage will solve everything. It is a very a complex and fragile thing that takes work on both ends to see things through. Some couples go through marriage counseling before they take the plunge to learn how to wade through all the muck that they will be sure to encounter.

We all know that unfortunately some marriages cannot be saved. Certain problems may have become too complex and perhaps too dangerous to try to solve. However, I firmly believe that if you take the time to see any problem as a possibility before you take the final step toward marriage and talk it over with your future spouse, you will see how things could turn out if they should ever happen. It is important to note how your partner reacts to any problem you wish to discuss. If they simply do not want to talk about it, then you will certainly have communication problems down the road. They may be uncomfortable with anything too close to the truth. Also, people don’t simply “change” when married. They are the same people as before. For example, if a person is abusive in any way, nothing will likely change that, and they need to help themselves before having any kind of relationship with anyone else. Any type of danger is nothing to shrug off and ignore.

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